


Veniat dilectus meus in occulta

by JHarkness



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Parallels, Pining, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-23
Updated: 2014-02-23
Packaged: 2018-01-13 03:19:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1210693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JHarkness/pseuds/JHarkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One boy despised secrets.<br/>The other loved them.<br/>This is the story of how they met in the middle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Veniat dilectus meus in occulta

**Author's Note:**

> The title is "Come into my secrets" in Latin, to the best of my knowledge. Please let me know if I am mistaken! :)

Remus Lupin detested secrets. He always had. He considered them the epitome of hatred, denial, depression. Oppression. As a young boy, they were even worse. They meant lies and ends of friendships.

Remus locked himself away because of secrets. He pressed sweaty palms against scarred ears, tried to keep the secrets in and drown out their sound.

When he got his letter for Hogwarts, he decided he never wanted to silence another secret again. Lupin equated the keeping of them to attempting not to hear your own heartbeat. He held the letter to his chest, closed his eyes, and _listened_.

His ideas for sharing shattered as soon as he met Sirius Black.

Remus couldn’t blame him. Puppy-eyed, messy-haired Sirius, who inspired confidence and devilishness and all the things the timid, bookworm of a little boy had never been able to explore. Pinch me, and later, Shag-me-if-I’m-wrong Sirius.

And oh, how he wanted to.

That was his secret now. Not his ‘furry little problem’ as his friends so colloquially called it.

No, it was his _love_.

Remus had always thought that love would be a good thing; that he would finally escape the ashamed love he had grown to know. But it wasn’t gone—it was just hiding inside of him. Instead of others being ashamed to love him, he was ashamed to love Sirius. He had a good thing going with the wolfish trickster of a boy, and he didn’t want to ruin it over something as trivial as heartache.

Remus Lupin detested secrets.

…

 

Sirius Black adored secrets. He wore them like a coat and hoarded them like galleons. To him, they were the definition of freedom, happiness, life. Hope. They meant ways to escape his family and new friendships.

Sirius opened himself up because of secrets. He shouted wild things and acted even wilder. He danced, and he never had to worry about someone finding out what was hidden under all those secrets.

When he got his Hogwarts letter, he promised to collect more secrets. He could become them, define them, and turn himself into whatever he wanted to be. He held the letter to his chest, closed his eyes, and _breathed_.

His ideas about hiding fractured as soon as he met Remus Lupin.

Sirius couldn’t blame him. Bright-eyed, scarred Remus, who inspired companionship and trust and all the things the broken, rebellious little boy had never been able to explore. Intelligent, tire, and oh-so-kissable Remus.

And oh, how Sirius wanted to.

That was Sirius’ secret now. He shared the rest with his friends; cast away that ugly shell he had grown up in. He still kept the important ones, of course, but broke that shallow mold he had called home. He even tried to make the attraction apparent; he would brush against the wolf-boy in the corridor, make suggestive jokes, bat his eyelashes, and kiss his cheek. But that wasn’t enough because no, it wasn’t love.

Sirius had always thought that love would be a good thing; that he would finally escape the fake love he had grown to know. But it wasn’t gone—it was just hiding inside him. It forced him to think he was not worthy of Remus, and showed him that it was the secrets that protected him. Protected both of them. He had a good thing going with the timid bookworm of a boy, and didn’t want to ruin him with something as permanent as heartbreak.

Sirius Black adored secrets.

…

 

One thing can be said for boys with secrets: They have a simple time recognizing them in others.


End file.
